“We had always wanted to adopt a baby or a toddler so we undertook the adoption training and the long process of assessment which took about 6 months. Then we were matched several times but never chosen.
When Paul reached 50 we were giving up, when, out of the blue we were contacted by our Link Worker, who asked us to consider a 9 year old girl who needed an adoptive home.
She has been with us now for nearly two years and we are going from strength to strength. She has direct contact with her mum once a year for about an hour and this helps reassure our daughter that her mum is ok.”
Paul & Sarah
“We had a meeting at our home and then attended a course which gave a better picture of what exactly was involved in the process.
Our social worker came to visit us to talk about various topics and then we went to panel. We were apprehensive about the possible outcome, but all went well and we were approved.
We were approached regarding adopting a little girl, but it wasn’t to be. We found this difficult at first, but then accepted that we weren’t the best match in her case.
Our social worker contacted us again, with details of a little boy. It’s hard to believe that he’s been now with us for over 12 months. We’re delighted to have a beautiful, good-natured little boy who has settled remarkably well. It’s difficult now remembering what it was like without him, and although in our case the process took 2½ years, we can’t imagine a more worthwhile wait.”
Stephen & Caryn
“I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it was to welcome our daughter home. We had put together an album which the foster parents read to our daughter every night before she met us, with a picture of her ‘forever’ mummy and daddy, her bedroom, her garden and her new dog! This helped prepare her, and resulted in her first words to us when we met her which was “Hello Mummy”. We will never forget that moment.
When she came home, we showed her round each of the rooms, and she recognized her bedroom straight away from the album. We kept her routine very similar to the foster parents’. We used the same bedding, clothing, foods, and we even used the same bath products and washing powder. Familiarity, where possible, helped.
What we have learned, is that you can (and we did!) buy hundreds of books about what to do/what not to do/how to do it/how not to do it but there is no panacea. What we have both learned, is that you will intuitively know what’s right. There are many suggestions (many contradictory!) but take from the wealth of information what feels right to you. Ask for advice from friends, family, social workers and you’ll filter what you think is useful.
Family and friends have been incredibly supportive. We have put in our application to the courts to legally adopt our daughter, and whilst it’s a formality, to know for certain that she’ll be part of our family forever, it can’t come quick enough for us, and for our friends and our family.
Our daughter may not have made up her mind about us yet, but we’ve decided to be the best ‘forever’ mum and dad that we can possibly be. She deserves all the warmth, patience, love and understanding that we can give her.
Adoption, for us, has been incredibly rewarding – we have both said it’s the best thing we have ever done. Our daughter, has, and continues to teach us, just as much as we are teaching her.”